An Open Letter to Scientist Worldwide....

As I read the paper and watch the news I see that "you scientist" are discovering new and exciting things everyday. Don't get me wrong, I commend you on your efforts but it has become painfully obvious that you are all on the wrong track. If you were doing your jobs as well as you should then you would have discovered, if only by accident the greatest thing that could ever be created.

I know that 24.823% of all scientific discoveries come as a by-product of the intended experiments but these mistakes can be remarkable.
* Viagra
*Penicillin
*The Microwave Oven
*Silly Puddy
*LSD
Need I say anymore!

Science needs to branch out into more extreme experimentation. I do not care if it is intended or purely accidental but would someone one please start a Zombie epidemic.

Please try to go by the following guidelines as much as possible.

1. They must be slow moving.
2. They must go on instinct alone "need brains".
3. They cannot collaborate with other Zombies or be able to learn new things.
4. They must be killed only through severe head trauma.
5. The Zombie can only infect a non-Zombie by way of a bite.
6. They must have sub-human strength.
7. Glazed eyes would be preferable.
8. Inability to speak, moaning is acceptable.
9. The epidemic can only be transferred to humans.
10. Lastly they should die from starvation or thirst as any human would.

My household has a Zombie epidemic plan. We are prepared and will survive this horrible "awesome" experience unscathed. Every morning I wake up saddened by the fact that I have yet to battle Zombies. I plead with you, Scientist of the world, to make this a reality.

Thank You,
Edward Morrow