How to get away with picking up a prostitute..(In Theory)

I was reading an article about prostitution Vs. Pornography and came up with a great theory for legally picking up prostitutes.
Try out this technique and she how it pans out for you.
You will first need two things on your persons in order to pull this off.
First you will need a video camera, next you will need to draft up a video consent form. There are many such forms on the internet.
It the police give you any flack simply say that you are recording a pornographic movie, which is not illegal and that you will be compensating the lady or ladies for there "acting in the film".
This seems like a pretty gray area in the law enforcement field so there is a good chance that you would get away with it.
Now you just need to take your friendly neighborhood prostitute to the location of your choice and film you cinematic adventure.

I am not a lawyer and if you get arrested you are the dummy that listened to me so..........not my fault.

How to remove a deadbolt.

My wife and I locked ourselves out of the house on Sunday so I had to break in through the garage. The door was dead bolted but I managed to get it unlocked. Here are the easy steps to get into any deadbolt.

1. Get hammer & screw driver
2. Hammer screwdriver into lock to twist lock
3. Cylinder pushes into housing
4. Hammer large metal rod in to cylinder to knock it out
5. Get drill and small metal bit
6. Break drill bit
7. Get larger bit
8. Break larger bit
9. Use biggest bit
   
10. Break biggest bit
11. Get jigsaw with metal saw blade
12. Break metal saw blade
13. Get large steel rod again and hammer it in
    as far as possible
14. Take crescent wrench and turn 10 times
15. Get Dremil tool with cutting blade to cut now exposed bolts
16. Take dead bolt off
17. Use needle nose pliers to pull lock out
18. Presto
19. Clean up pieces of metal
    

HOW TO SPEAK BRITISH.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE THOSE BRITISH MOVIES LIKE TRAINSPOTTING, SNATCH, AND LOCK STOCK... THE MOVIES ARE GREAT, BUT I THINK ITS THE DIALOG THAT REALLY GETS ME SO HERE ARE SOME WORDS THAT YOU CAN INTEGRATE INTO YOUR DAILY DIALOG TO GIVE IT A BRITISH FEEL.

1. Bangers-sausages
2. Bugger off-go away
3. Gorgeous-great, terrific
4. Football-soccer(this is very important)
5. Cooker-stove/oven
6. Bloke-a guy
7. Dodgy-questionable
8. Flat-apartment
9. Murder-eat, scarf down
10. Rubber-eraser

TRY THESE OUT FOR NOW AND SEE IF IT DOESN'T MAKE TALKING ALL THAT MORE FUN.