Friday, April 13, 2007

General disclaimer for viewers and reader of blog.eddiemorrow.com.

  1. Viewer discretion is advised.
  2. We reserve the right to substitute equivalent items.
  3. You must be at least this tall to ride.
  4. Your results may vary.
  5. Watch for falling rock.
  6. Slippery when wet.
  7. All major credit cards accepted.
  8. Allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery.
  9. An equal opportunity employer.
  10. All sales final.
  11. Side effects may include nausea.
  12. Some restrictions apply.
  13. Use only as directed.
  14. Unauthorized use or reproduction of material on this web site is strictly prohibited by Federal law and subject to criminal prosecution.
  15. Tumble dry on low heat.
  16. This side up.
  17. The Surgeon General of the United States warns that smoking by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth, and low birth weight.
  18. Member, FDIC
  19. Must be 18 to enter.
  20. Moisten needle before inserting.
  21. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.
  22. Only at participating dealers
  23. Please allow 4-8 weeks delivery.
  24. Smoking may be hazardous to your health.
  25. Shake well before using.
  26. Ribbed for her pleasure.
  27. The preceding was a paid political announcement.
  28. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
  29. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician.
  30. If seal is broken, discard immediately.
  31. Knock before entering.
  32. In the event of an emergency, an oxygen mask will drop down from the compartment above your head.
  33. Fragile, handel with care.
  34. Dry clean only.
  35. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
  36. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
  37. Do not use if you have prostate problems.
  38. Not to be handeled by women wo are pregnant or may become pregnant.
  39. Caution falling rock.
  40. EPA estimate only.
  41. Subject to local regulation.
  42. Viewer discretion is advised.
  43. Remove plastic before eating.
  44. One size fits all.
  45. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
  46. All models are over 18 years of age.
  47. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.
  48. Some assembly required.
  49. Batteries not included.
  50. Consult your physician before use.
  51. Void where prohibited.
  52. Caution: May cause drowsiness, nausea, dizziness, or blurred vision.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

I got diarrhea--i didn't see that in your disclaimer. I'm suing.